Never concede, trade: the give and get list

What the research says

Getting to Yes, based on the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project, sets out a method of negotiation that separates the people from the problem, focuses on interests rather than positions, and has the parties work together to find creative and fair options. [1]
28 studies
A meta-analysis of 28 studies found that negotiators with a prosocial rather than self-interested motive were less contentious, did more problem solving and reached higher joint outcomes, but only when they also held firm on their own interests (high or unknown resistance to yielding). [2]
A direct replication of Cialdini and colleagues' 1975 door-in-the-face study found that people were more likely to agree to a request after turning down a larger one, with compliance rates similar to the original. The authors read this as support for the role of reciprocity norms. [3]
83%
From our own work: Cut one platform's spend 83% and got five times the coverage. The figure: 83%, annual spend cut. [4]

Why every give needs a get

Concessions is the fifth move in The Salecopy Method. Its one line is: plan your trades, every give has a get. It rests on one of the method's principles: trade, never give. Nothing leaves your side of the table without something coming back.

The mistake it prevents is a familiar one. The buyer asks for a discount, the call has been going well, and the rep agrees in order to keep it friendly. Nothing comes back.

A free concession costs more than the amount. It tells the buyer that your first price was not your real price, and that asking is all it takes. The sensible response to that is to ask again.

A trade sends a different message. Your price is tied to a scope and a set of terms. If one moves, another moves with it.

Build the two columns before the call

The trades are planned before the call, not invented during it. Sit down with whoever sets your prices and take 20 minutes. On the left, write everything you could give. On the right, write what you would want back for each. Add a third note beside every give: what it costs you.

Things you might be able to give:

A lower rate or a one-time discount.
Longer payment terms.
Extra users, units or hours.
A longer support or onboarding period.
An earlier start date.
A price held for a second year.

Decide what you want back

The right-hand column is the one people skip. Fill it with things that are worth something to your business, and include some that cost the buyer little. The best trades are cheap for one side and valuable to the other.

Rank the list. Put the gives that cost you least at the top, and lead with those. Keep price near the bottom.

A longer contract term.
Faster payment, or payment up front.
A larger scope or a second team.
A signature by a named date.
A case study, a reference call or an introduction to another part of their company.
A meeting with the person who signs.

Example trades

These are examples of the shape, not a price list. Yours will depend on what each give costs you. If a trade changes contract terms such as liability, termination or renewal, have your lawyer review it before it goes on the list.

A lower rate, for a longer term.
A discount, for faster payment.
An extra service, for a case study.
A price held for next year, for a signature by the end of this month.
An earlier start, for a fixed scope with no custom changes.
Extra onboarding hours, for a reference call once they are live.
Longer payment terms, for a larger first order.

Set approval limits

Every give needs a limit and a name. The rep should know before the call what they can agree alone, what needs a manager, and what needs the owner.

Here is an invented example. Say a rep can trade up to 5 percent off the price for a two-year term without asking. A manager can approve up to 10 percent. Anything past that goes to the owner, along with the walk-away that was written for the deal. The figures are for illustration. Set your own from your margins.

Limits help the rep. "That is outside what I can agree today" is true, easy to say, and it buys time to think.

This is also a good place for an AI assistant. It can check a proposed concession against the list and the approval limits, and tell the rep which trade to offer and who must sign it off. The rep decides whether to offer it and says it to the buyer. The AI does not concede anything.

The exact words

The core line is: "I can do that if we can agree this. Which matters more to you?" It says yes to a trade, and it asks the buyer to choose, which tells you what they value. Say it, then stop talking.

Here it is fitted to common requests. For more on the first one, read discount requests: what to say.

A lower price: "I can move on the rate if we can agree a two-year term. Which matters more to you, the rate or the flexibility?"
Longer payment terms: "I can do longer terms if we can agree the full scope from day one. Would that work?"
A free extra: "I can include that if you are able to take a reference call for us once you are live."
Something past your limit: "That is outside what I can agree today. If I take it to my director, I would need to bring a signature date with it. What date could you commit to?"
Something not on the list: "Let me come back to you on that tomorrow. What would you be able to do on your side if I can make it work?"

Mistakes to avoid

Write each trade on the deal in your CRM (customer relationship management system, where your deals are kept) the day it is agreed, both halves. Then watch for these.

Giving a discount to keep the conversation friendly and getting nothing back.
Recording the give and forgetting the get, so nobody collects the case study or checks the payment date.
Trading with someone who cannot sign. The next person starts from your reduced price and asks again.
Offering to split the difference. It is a give with no get.
Leading with price when a cheaper give would have done.
Reaching your limit with nothing left to trade. Prepare for that with your walk-away.

What to add to your CRM

Field	Type	Why it exists
What we can give	Text, one row per item	The left column of the give and get list. Written before the negotiation starts.
What it costs us	Currency	The real cost of each give, so trades are ranked by cost and not by habit.
What we ask for in return	Text	The right column. No row is complete without it.
Approved by	User	Who signed off each give, and so who is asked when a request goes past the rep's limit.
Trade status	Dropdown	Planned, offered, agreed, delivered. Shows which gets are still owed by the buyer.

A prompt to try

Copy this prompt

Open in ChatGPT Open in Claude

You are helping me prepare trades for a negotiation. The rule is: every give has a get. Stay in this role for the whole conversation.

What I sell: [your product or service]
The deal: [buyer type, scope, price, term]
What I am able to give, and what each costs me: [list]
What I would value from the buyer: [list]
My approval limits: [what I can agree alone, what needs a manager, what needs the owner]
What I expect the buyer to ask for: [list]

Do the following:
1. Build a two-column table: each give, its cost to me, and the get I should ask for in return. Use only the items I listed.
2. Rank the trades, with the ones that cost me least at the top.
3. For each request I expect, write the one-sentence reply I could say, in the form "I can do that if we can agree this."
4. Mark any trade that goes past my own limit and say who must approve it.
5. List what is missing: any give with no cost, any give with no get, any expected request I have no trade for.

Do not invent costs or limits. Do not write a message to the buyer and do not contact anyone. I decide what to offer and I say it.

The buttons open a new chat with the prompt already typed in. Fill in the square brackets before you send it, or copy it into the AI assistant you already use. It is for practice and preparation. A person still decides, speaks and sends.

The short version

Write the give and get list before the call: what you can give, what it costs, what you want back.
Answer a request with a trade: "I can do that if we can agree this. Which matters more to you?"
Lead with the gives that cost you least and keep price near the bottom.
Every give has an approval limit and a named approver, known before the call.
Record both halves of every trade on the deal, and collect the get.

Sources

Fisher, R., Ury, W. L., & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin Books (revised edition, ISBN 9780143118756).
De Dreu, C. K. W., Weingart, L. R., & Kwon, S. (2000). Influence of social motives on integrative negotiation: A meta-analytic review and test of two theories. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(5), 889-905.
Genschow, O., Westfal, M., Crusius, J., Bartosch, L., Feikes, K. I., Pallasch, N., & Wozniak, M. (2021). Does social psychology persist over half a century? A direct replication of Cialdini et al.'s (1975) classic door-in-the-face technique. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 120(2), e1-e7.
Salecopy.io. Cut one platform's spend 83% and got five times the coverage. Salecopy.io case study.

Every outside figure on this site was opened at its original publisher and checked twice before it was published. See all the research and how we check it.

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